Two Flowers of Utmost Difference
by Codename Jellybean
Summary: When a strange man apparates into her kitchen, Petunia doesn't call the police. Instead, she takes up that man's offer, which will end in reviving her dead sister. What seems like a simple plan ends up in Petunia in a back alley trying to trade three troll toes for a time traveling clock! And can she avoid being driven insane by the annoying but attractive- oops! Did she say that?
1. Petunia

**Hello, all! SnapexPetunia is an amazing ship, but there are only three fanfictions on this site I found for it! One was written by me and the other was written over five years ago...this is a travesty! So if you like this fic, or you liked my other fanfic 'New Beginnings', please consider writing a SnapexPetunia fanfiction. (: If you notify me that you wrote a story of that ship, you'll be guaranteed a follow, favorite, and review. There. I bribed you, that's how desperate I am for a Snetunia (only ship name I could think of) story. :) Onward ho! **

_Her green eyes are obscured with tears that fall freely, staining her cheeks and lightly wetting the collar of her blouse. Although her lip wavers, her voice is surprisingly strong as she speaks. 'You always call me a freak. You always call me disgusting, or a mutated creature. What have I ever done to you?'_

_And she can give no reply. No matter how hard she tries to open her mouth, she can't._

_She continues her tirade while gesticulating with her frail arms. 'I always tried to be nice. I never rubbed it in your face. I did the opposite, but you still shunned me. You unfairly made me dread the holidays, because it meant being snubbed, or worse, ignored.'_

_'YOU'RE WRONG!' Her voice wants to yell. But she can only look at her sister silently._

_'You didn't come to my wedding. You never asked about Harry. I still cared about you.' She has changed from the twelve year old girl to twenty years of age, dark red hair falling to her gives a small sob, wiping away the tears with the heels of her hands. Her eyes have hardened when she has finished drying her eyes. 'I don't care any more, Petunia. You can say anything. Do anything. I don't care. Live your life with that obscene walrus. I don't care.'_

_She stalks off, and Petunia so desperately wants to run after her, tell her sorry. But she can't. Lily finally turns around, but this time she has the look of a war veteran, dead eyes and hollowed cheeks. 'We're sisters, and no matter what, we share a bond. I'll always love you, Tunie, no matter how horrible you are.'_

_Miraculously, her mouth opens, but the words that jump out are the exact opposite of the ones she means. 'What bond? That so called bond was broken years ago when you got shipped off to that Pig school. Freak.'_

_Lily runs away into the distance as the sun sets, a blood red color washing the sky._

'It was only a dream.' She gasped as her eyes woke up only to find pitch darkness. 'Just a dream.' Or nightmare: although devoid of blood, gore, or flesh-eating monsters, this was Petunia's nightmare, and one that would never be solved.

Lily, her baby sister, was gone. The digital clock read 5:32 in glowing numbers. Early enough to be awake, Petunia thought. Her still trembling hands smoothed and folded sweat soaked bed sheets before making her way to the kitchen.

The tap was turned on, gushing water into her outstretched cup. She raised it to her lips, contemplating the empty silence that had filled her house while she was sleeping, save for the quiet hum of the heater. The kitchen was surreally white, even more so by the white light.

And then, seemingly out of nowhere, a hooded man wrapped in black cloth swirled into her pristine kitchen. 'You're tracking mud on my floors!' She shrieked.

He cocked an eyebrow over the black scarf that obscure most of his face. 'Lady, that really shouldn't be the first thing you say to a suspicious intruder.' His voice was cold and clipped, and was both emotionless and amused at the same time.

This tip left Petunia speechless. She flailed for a response that wouldn't make her seem stupid. 'Well, as a suspicious intruder, you shouldn't give advice on how to protect yourself from suspicious intruders!'

'Touché, madame.' The man took the scarf covering his face off, stowing the material in his pocket. 'However, by now you should have called the police, instead of standing here like an idiot.'

'Idiot? Me? You're the miscreant thug! I'm the university educated woman who-'

'Who later on married a walrus and stayed at home to spoil a beach ball.'

'Now that's just creepy. I mean, really creepy. Disconcerting.' Who was this man? How did he know ... Well, her life?

As if he had read her mind, he said 'The reason I know all about your life is because of two reasons. One: I'm your sister's ex-best-friend. Two: I can read minds.'

'That really isn't helping you prove you're not creepy. Actually, I think it's pretty safe to say you're insane. And- ' then, his words registered into her mind. 'You're the Snape-boy.'

'If it's anything to you, I prefer Snape-man. Or possibly His Royal Highness, the Half-Blood Prince.' He smiled indulgently, as if it was a joke, but that smile quickly vanished when he saw Petunia's confused expression. 'Don't you get it?'

'Do I not get that you believe you're royalty and have a penchant for breaking into people's houses at night to tell them so?'

He rolled his eyes. 'It's going to be just splendid to work with you.'

'What?' There was no way she'd work with this self absorbed snot!

'I think you should sit down for this.'

'I think you should stop ordering me around In my own residence.' She snapped, but made her way to the light-blue parlor and chose the comfiest armchair.

'Yet you still follow what I tell you to do,' he smirked. Swiftly his smirk changed to his more serious face. 'This mission is a long one, but one I think you shall find to be wondrous in its outcome.'

'I'll be the judge of that. What is it?' She crossed her legs as she waited on tenterhooks for his reply.

'We are bringing Lily Evans from the dead.'

Petunia resisted the urge to jump from her seat in excitement. She'd get to see Lily again? Another chance at saying sorry? Another chance to meet her?

'We shall need two things for this. One is a wizard who can apparate. That is me. The other is a Timeturner, a device that lets one travel through time. We need both of those for a reason I shall explain...If you agree to this.'

'Of course I wi-' Petunia began to say. 'Sure. Just don't get even more annoying than what you are already.'

'Me?' Snape feigned ignorance. 'Annoying? Why surely you are mistaken!'

'So do you have the Time Turner?' Petunia asked.

'No.'

'WHAT KIND OF SOGGY RAT'S ASSE-' she began, before he cut her off. Again.

'That's where you come in. Well, the second time you come in. You are a master at convincing people to do things for you. Why, how you got that poor man to marry you in the first place, much less have a beach ball with him! That takes skill. How much money did you pay?'

She was about to retort when he continued.

'We'll be scouring the wizarding black market to get a TimeTurner, as most of them were destroyed by your nephew.' At the mention of Harry, a sour taste filled her mouth. 'And you'll be the one...convincing people to give it to us for less.' He finished.

'You are one of the worst strategists of the century,' Petunia began. 'But fine. This once. But after we bring my sister back from the dead we are never speaking again.'

'I second that notion.'

Petunia sighed, and made a mental note that next time a magical, strange, childhood enemy came into her kitchen from nowhere and suggested to delve into black marketsto resurrect her sister, she would decline.

**Thanks for the advice, Yengirl! This is a tiny bit darker, but I hope just as interesting and humorous. Thanks for the reviews lara winters and excessivelyperky! :) Disclaimer: I have no knowledge of the black market...**


	2. Chapter 2

**Heyy, yengirl! Yeah, sorry for that, but I do think this story will actually have some semblance of a plot. And we'll see about whether that was good for Snape or not- soon :) 013bela, yay, a fellow shipper! Harry1675, I'm glad! :) **

**On the subject of reviews, my goal is to get fifty~ so being the nerd that I am I read a whole bunch of fanfics and made charts about which fanfics are the most successful and stuff...is that bad?**

**And: I need a beta! If anybody wants to beta this story, I will be very happy :) Just drop a review or PM me whenever! :) Anyway, enough babbling. Onward ho!**

'Now, this has been a nice little meeting,' Snape said looking as if he meant the exact opposite. 'But I have a terribly pressing social life, so I have to run.'

Petunia snorted. 'A NICE meeting?! You broke into my house!'

'Anyway,' said Snape. 'I must flee. And, might I suggest something?'

'Will you shut up if I tell you that you can't?'

'No. Anyway, you were named wrongly.' He casually said as he collected his shed black cloak. 'Rose would suit you better. Merlin knows you have the thorns for it.'

'You'll go so low to insult me so as to insult my name?'

'Yes, seeing that I already did.' He fixed her with his penetrating stare. 'And now, sweet rose, I must go. I surely will miss your angry gaze and beady eyes, and the unkind, harsh worde you rain upon me.'

'You ins-' Petunia began as he whisked away into thin air. She really didn't get what the big fuss about magic. It just enabled creepy men to sneak into her house at night and then irritate her.

'Stars above,' she said, sitting down again, suddenly feeling very tired. Weariness seeped into her bones as she thought about the night's affairs. Snape, that very same Snape-boy who had tormented her for years was giving her the chance to redeem herself.

Lily would forgive her if she brought her little sister back to life- they'd have another chance at saying sorry.

'She'd still be alive if not for that boy,' Petunia muttered. Harry Potter. She knew in her heart of hearts that she really didn't hate him. She actually kind of would have liked him, if not for the fact that is was his fault Lily was dead. She had given up her life for his.

Petunia sighed once more. 'Stars above,' she repeated, using her favorite phrase from her favorite book since she had been fifteen.

Drooping eyelids and fatigue-worn hands made her decide that it was time for her to sleep.

She awoke to the smell of rotten teeth and burning flesh.

Obviously, that was not the preffered scent to arise to. 'I told you, ten galleons three sickles and not a knut less!' Came an angry voice from outside the door. Snaoe's voice.

Suddenly, Petunia realized that this wasn't her bed.

Yet another unsettling thought to wake up to.

She leapt out of the creaking bed to the backdrop of a gnarly voice. 'Yer cheatin me outta me housn'ome! But fine...this time.'

Forcing open the door she saw an unbelievably short man with pointed ears walk out of the house, tattered obes swirling behind him. Snape stowed some coins in his pocket.

'Are. You. Insane?' Petunia grit out.

He turned towards a hearth where a black cauldron was bubbling. 'Not exactly. Borderline homicidal, yes. Insane? I think that's more of your turf.'

'You abducted me in the middle of the night to here!' She bellowed.

'I am aware of that, now keep your voice down. The other boarders will complain.'

'Oh, I'm sorry to disturb the other boarders about my little problem of a crazed stalker who kidnapped me in the middle of the night! Surely their sleep is much more important,' Petunia said crossing her arms.

'For once, you are correct. Breakfast?' Snape asked, producing two small rolls, well buttered and spread with jam.

'In a minute.' She snapped and made her way into the bathroom, locking the door behind her.

'This is crazy,' she said to herself, gazing at her reflection in the mirror. 'Why did I agree to go on this with him? He might not even...how do I get out? Stars, this is crazy.' She finished, leaning her head on the wall behind her.

'You're crazy!' The mirror cried.

'GAH!' Petunia ran out.

Snape crossed his arms. 'Done with your theatrics now?' He asked. 'The reason I brought you here is for the black market dealings we talked about. For the TimeTurner? I swear I'm legitimate!'

'You call yourself legitimate after kidnapping me and creeping into my house in the MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT?!'

He raised his arm. 'I'm on Veritaserum right now. Truth potion. I promise. Ask me any question you like, and I'll be honor bound to answer it.'

Petunia grinned sadistically. Oh, the fun she would have with this question! Seeing her expression, Snape cowered. ' This was not something I should have proposed,' he said.

'I think quite the otherwise, Snape-dear.' His fear was palpable as she thought over her possible questions. Was he a virgin? She thought not, even though he was so dislikeable. He was, after all, fifty. What was the worst thing he had ever done? Too juvenile. Was he married? That would make her seem desperate, and anyway, he probably wasn't. No wife would want him to go into the black market... Petunia was single, too, ever since they had moved to the new house.

'What was the one secret that you never told anyone?' She asked finally.

The pain in his eyes was not something he could fake. 'I... Slept with your sister in sixth year.' He bit out. 'I was attracted to her, and she was attracted to me, but we never did anything but that one time. And then we were back to being friends.'

'I really did not need to hear that,' Petunia grimaced.

'I really did not need to say that,' Snape shuddered.

He took another bottle, most likely the antidote to the Veritaserum. In one gulp, he downed the sticky black liquid. A long, awkward pause ensued where Petunia tried not to think of Lily and Snape...she couldn't even say it.

'Now, we sell troll toes.' He said, thrusting a bag of what looked like extremely hairy, large thumbs with moldy nails.

'Wait, what?'

**Next chapter will explain everything! :)**


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